The Cleveland Sports Curse

Indulge me in a bit of self-whining, if you please.  There are far more important things to focus on in this world, and in my own life personally.  But I am a sports fan, and have attempted to use sports as a way to bring me joy when the rest of reality is feeling dismal.  Unfortunately, I am a Cleveland sports fan.  And for all of the cliches you may have heard about Cleveland and their dystopian sports teams, let me assure me... it is far worse than you think.

First, let me start by saying this- I love living in Cleveland.  The city has an undeserved reputation, and is a great city to live in.  It has all of the benefits of a large city while still being affordable.  Traffic is nothing compared other cities.  We're within a day's drive to about half the United States.  The weather can be cold, and the East Side gets a lot of snow- but I'll take a Cleveland winter over a St. Louis summer any say of the week.  There's an art deco look about the city that really is amazing to look at.  Cleveland's not "cool" and hasn't been since the 1950's- but I'm not in my 20's; "cool" is overrated.  Cleveland is a great place to live.

Cleveland:  Love the city, hate being a sports fan

But it's hell being a sports fan in this city.

Let me give you a few bullet points about why it sucks to follow Cleveland sports:

• We will start with the Guardians (and by the way, Guardians remain an awesome team name, and much better than Indians).  They have only won two World Series- 1920 and 1948.  That's tied with the Philadelphia Phillies for the fewest World Series among the teams that have been in baseball since the World Series Started.
• They last won the World Series in 1948.  Except the five expansion teams that have never won the World Series, that is the longest drought among the MLB franchises.  The second longest is the Pittsburgh Pirates, who won the World Series in 1979- over thirty years later.
• And, due to the current structure of baseball, where teams can practically spend as much money as they want for their salaries, the teams with the biggest payrolls have the best chance to win.  And the Guardians currently rank 28th in MLB payroll- with no sign of that improving.  The Guardians are a smart team, but I see no hope in them winning a World Series in my lifetime.
• Next, we come to the Cleveland Cavaliers, who have a 15-13 record.  Two games above .500.  That's promising, right?  But then we look further...
• They currently have the highest salary in the NBA, and are above the second apron- which means they cannot make any moves.  This team- the one that is barely above .500- is what they are locked in for the next few years.
• Plus, they have given up their 2027 and 2029 first round draft picks, and have swapped (get the worst version) of the 2026 and 2028 first round draft picks.  
• So this is their team.  And in a year where most of their competition has been decimated by serious injuries, they are playing horribly.  Their best chance to win is right now, and it does not look good.
• But the Guardians and the Cavaliers are awesome compared to the travesty that is the Browns.  
• Pre-1995, the Browns were a good team that seemed curse to be unable to win the big one- sort of like where the Buffalo Bills are now.  Too many tragic games, all with shorthand nicknames:  "The Fumble" , "The Drive", "Red Right 88".  Just a barrage of events with the team coming up short
• Mind you, in the 1950s and 1960s they were great and won several titles- that ended right before the Super Bowl Era started, and most modern fans don't look at those.
• But in 1995, Art Modell moved the team out of Cleveland so they could become the Baltimore Ravens.  Four years later, the NFL gifted Cleveland with a new team.  And that team has been mind-boggingly awful.
• Since 1999, they have averaged 5 wins a year.  Imagine going 5-12 every year for 27 years.  That is what the Browns have gone through.  Now imagine having your fall and winter dominated by this news.  Every.  Single.  Year.  
• There is a meme showing how many QBs the team has gone through since they have returned (and needs to be updated with Sanders):

    

• How bad are the Browns?  Put it this way- The greatest football coach of all time couldn't win with them.
  
  
• At least the Cavaliers have the 2016 NBA Title- the only one that has happened in my lifetime.  If you want to make an argument that LeBron James is the GOAT of basketball, the argument is this:  He won Cleveland a sports title.  That's something no one else can possibly say.

Look- it's sports.  Nothing important.  I know this.  I've given up asking the teams to give me joy.  Just don't give any more misery.  Is that too much to ask?