Memo to the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy: Scandal Edition

To:    members@vastrightwingconspiracy.con
From: mightybastard@vastrightwingconspiracy.com (membership ID:  TK-421)
Password:  0bama15aween1e


Folks,

We're handling these scandals all wrong.  The IRS Scandal and the Justice Department wiretapping the AP- we need to point out the real dangers here, not score political points.

Everyone's talking about how these scandals hurt Obama.  That's not the point, nor should it be.

For one thing, Obama's irrelevant.  He won in 2012 on a campaign of "I'm not Romney", and never pushed an agenda.  Plus, he's terrible at the job of, you know, actually running the country.  He's going to spend the next 18 months with one goal in mind- trying to vote out the GOP House.  After that... I don't know; he'll play some golf and make some speeches, trying to set up a Legacy.  Outside events will drive the topics in Washington; the President won't.

So forget about figuring out how these scandals hurt Obama.  Instead, try to find ways to make sure they never happen again.

The Conservative Argument against Big Government can be stated in two bullet points.

1)  A Leviathan Bureaucratic State is so inefficient that it causes more harm than good compared to a smaller, limited government

2)  A Leviathan Bureaucratic State grants so much unchecked power to others than abuse of the system is inevitable and causes harm to innocents.

The IRS Scandal is a perfect example of #2.  A bunch of IRS employees used their power to grind a political axe.  They targetted groups they didn't agree with, threatening them with audits.

Everyone understands that the IRS is a frightening group.  It has the power to tax our income, to take our homes, and to arrest us if we don't fill out there 20,000 pages of tax forms exactly right.  People dread the idea of dealing with the IRS.

And the people responsible used that dread to intimidate political groups they didn't like.

I don't want firings; I want arrests and perp walks for those responsible.

But more importantly, I want transparency in the way the IRS targets groups for audits to make sure this doesn't happen again.  The IRS has gotten so powerful that these types of abuses are going to happen unless they change how the IRS can use its authority.

THAT'S what we should be going after- some limitations to what the IRS can do to prevent these types of abuses.

Same with the AP Scandal, although I'm thinking the media should do the heavy lifting for us there.  Using the Department of Justice to record private conservations reporters have?  We all know the media is in the tank for the President, but I think this will cause a few unpleasant dinner dates between them. 

But stop targetting Obama- he's irrelevant.  Concentrate on finding ways to make sure this doesn't happen again.

Sincerely,
TK-421

PS- You'll notice I haven't mentioned Benghazi.  That was a serious screw up- four men were killed when they were put in a dangerous situation.  In retrospect, it was obvious they needed more protection.  By all means, hold hearings to figure out why this happened.  But this is less of a scandal and more a case of incompetent screw ups.  The IRS and AP are scandals; Benghazi was incompetence.  Combining the two only muddies the water.

Gay Marriage Thoughts

The SCOTUS (Supreme Court of the United States) is weighing in on gay marriage and determining the Constitutionality.  The reading of the tea leaves indicate that SCOTUS will overturn DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act).  Then again, I thought the Supreme Court would overturn Obamacare, so you never know.

But popular opinion is rapidly swinging in favor of gay marriage.  Especially among the young.  This is a good thing, IMHO- I have several friends who are gay, and I want them to be happy as I am in my marriage.  

I can think of several tangents, though:

1)  I never, never understood why Social Conservatives were against gay marriage.   It seems to me they should have been leading the charge for gay marriage.  Long term committed relationships are healthy and should be ENCOURAGED. 

2)  I'm still confused by the political points on this one.  Barack Obama ran against gay marriage in 2008.  The fact that he changed his opinion is nice, but he was still several years behind Dick Cheney, Ted Olson, Colin Powell, etc. 

Ah, hell- I disagree with the President on just about everything else.  Might as well give him credit on one of the few things I do agree with him on :)

3)  In every couple, there is one person who wants to get married more than the other.  Right now, look at every gay couple you know- one of them is thinking, "Damn- there goes that excuse."  

4)  Should the Supreme Court support gay marriage in all 50 states, there's going to be a floodgates of marriages.  I'm a good capitalist, and thinking "How can I profit from this?".  It may be time to start investing in florists and bakeries before the deluge.

5)  Is it rude to ask all of my friends who are gay "Are you getting married yet?  Are you getting married yet?  When?  When?  When?"  Sure, it's rude- but it is a consequence of having the right to marry :)

Judging Commercials

I watch far too much TV... which means I watch far too many commercials. So much so that I tend to tune them out. And since the point of commercials is to convince you to spend money on their product, that means that a vast majority of commercials fail in their mission.

To me, a great commercial should do three things:

1. Be memorable
2. Be positive towards them
3. Associate the commercial with the product

Far too many commercials fail in the third task. For instance, watch the commercial below:

Then wait 30 minutes...  Go ahead, I'll stay here...

Now, that commercial hits (1) and (2)- it's memorable, it's funny, you like it.

But do you remember what product they are pitching? Hell, do you remember what COMPANY they are pitching?

Maybe you do. But I'll bet most people won't. They'll remember the funny Viking commercials ("The spiked heels are WORKING!"), but forget that those Vikings are selling Spark Cards and working for Capitol One. 

Then there are commercials that stick with you, but for all the wrong reasons:

OK- most people remember these commercials, and most people can associate them with Apple.

But for a large part of the audience- myself included- they found 'Apple' to be smug, and had much more empathy to 'PC'. The result was a backlash- I'll bet Microsoft LOVED these commercials.

In my mind, the best commercials out there today are:

Memorable, funny, clever, associated with the product- I don't even drink beer and I've tried Dos Equis. Very successful.

But, to my mind, the greatest commercial of all time- even 40+ years later...

... hell, I'll hold off the video and just say one thing.

"Hey Mikey! He Likes It!"

Everyone who took part in that commercial should get a royalty check from Kellogg's until the end of time.

Diary of a Mighty Writer...

You can blame Isaac Asimov for this one...

Back in junior high, I went through a phase where I read a ton of Asimov- the Foundation Series, the Robot Trilogy, the Black Widow Books... Asimov wasn't just a fine science fiction writer- he was a great storyteller.  He could write a short story that was interesting, amusing, and thoughtful.

I've started re-reading Asimov, and it spurred the interest to start writing short stories of my own.  And on the internet, you can find a place to showcase anything.

So here is my first sci-fi short story.  Enjoy.  

 

Which Franchise Should win First- NHL

I'm not a hockey fan, but wanted to leave this in to be a completionist.

Which Franchise Should win First- NBA

It's still amazing that literally HALF of the NBA Titles have been won by two franchises (Celtics and Lakers). The history of the NBA has been centered around those two franchises, with one period of domination by Michael Jordan. In 2013, there is a good chance that neither the Celtics nor Lakers will make the playoffs- which just seems so out of play. We're used to seeing one or the other team always dominate.

Which Franchise should win first- NFL

Only four franchises (Texans, Browns, Lions, Jaguars) have not made the Super Bowl. And if you included the AFL or pre-Super Bowl NFL, many of these franchises would be off the list. But modern fans only start counting from the Super Bowl.