Wrestlemania 33 Predictions

WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match (Kickoff Match)

Neville (c) vs. Austin Aries

What Should Happen:  This might be the match of the night.  Neville is awesome, and Aries can still rise to the occasion.  I’d actually like Neville to retain until they build up a new challenger.

What Will Happen:  Aries finally dethrones Neville to win the title.

What I’m Terrified Will Happen:  Two minutes into the match, Brau Strowman obliterates both men and wants to start the battle royal now.

SmackDown Women’s Championship Match (Kickoff Match)

Champion Alexa Bliss to defend against all female SmackDown LIVE Superstars who are available to compete

What Should Happen:  Alexa retains; on Smackdown on Tuesday, announces she’s defeated all of her competition… and out comes Asuka to take the belt from her.

What Will Happen:  Natalya wins the title to start a feud with Becky Lynch

What I’m Terrified Will Happen:  Carmella wins the belt because the writers love her and Ellsworth.

The Fourth Annual Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal (Kickoff Match)

Featuring Big Show, Sami Zayn, Braun Strowman, Apollo Crews, Mojo Rawley and more Superstars

What Should Happen:  Zayn is a giant killer, eliminating both Big Show and Strowman.

What Will Happen:  Strowman wins as his anointment as the next big man continues

What I’m Terrified Will Happen:  The Ascension win and immediately begin feuding over which one is really the winner.

Raw Tag Team Championship Triple Threat Ladder Match

Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson (c) vs. Enzo Amore & Big Cass vs. Cesaro & Sheamus

What Should Happen:  Gallows and Anderson retain; Cesaro and Sheamus split up the next night and both announce they are going after the US Title

What Will Happen:  Amore and Big Cass win the belts.

What I’m Terrified Will Happen:  The crowd turns on Amore and Big Cass to the point that they turn heel by the end of next week

Intercontinental Championship Match

Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Baron Corbin

What Should Happen:  Corbin wins, and Ambrose starts a slow turn into a psychotic heel

What Will Happen:  Corbin wins the title

What I’m Terrified Will Happen: Corbin wins the title when Dolph Ziggler costs Ambrose the title.  I like both Ziggler and Ambrose, but that feud feels stale for both men

United States Championship Match

Chris Jericho (c) vs. Kevin Owens

What Should Happen:  Match of the night, with both men giving dissertations on how to cheat.  Owens wins, and the crowd chants “Thank you Chris” as he heads off on tour with Fozzy.

What Will Happen:  Owens wins using every heel trick in the book

What I’m Terrified Will Happen:  Samoa Joe helps Owens beat Jericho in a forgettable match

Raw Women’s Championship Fatal 4-Way Elimination Match

Bayley (c) vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

What Should Happen:  Nia Jax wins and forces the other three to work together to overcome her.

What Will Happen:  Flair wins the title when Sasha Banks turns heel

What I’m Terrified Will Happen:  Flair wins the title, and the program continues as it has for months.

Power Couples Collide

John Cena & Nikki Bella vs. The Miz & Maryse

What Should Happen:  A glorious brawl that spends most of the match outside the ring.  Cena and Bella win, but Miz and Maryse look fantastic.  Cena proposes afterwards

What Will Happen:  A good match.  Same booking

What I’m Terrified Will Happen:  Miz and Maryse look like total chumps in losing.

SmackDown LIVE Commissioner vs. The Phenomenal One

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

What Should Happen:  Shane McMahon is attacked before the match, and Daniel Bryan announces a replacement- the returning Finn Balor. 

What Will Happen:  AJ Styles has had great matches all year.  He has another one, carrying Shane to a very good match, before winning cleanly

What I’m Terrified Will Happen:  Shane wins because… well, because

Non-Sanctioned Match

Seth Rollins vs. Triple H

What Should Happen:  Samoa Joe and Kevin Owens come out with Triple H- and Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose come out to support their Shield brother to brawl/chase out Joe and Owens.  Triple H uses every dirty trick in the book- but Rollins emerges victorious.  On the next RAW, a furious Stephanie McMahon engineers a major trade (Rollins, Cesaro, Zayn, and New Day for AJ Styles and the loser of Wyatt/Orton) just to get Rollins out of her league.

What Will Happen:    An excellent brawl.  Triple H has learned when to give the face the moment to overcome the heel, and Rollins finally gets his revenge here with a clean win.

What I’m Terrified Will Happen:  Samoa Joe costs Rollins the match, and Triple H finally starts showing his age.

WWE Championship Match

Bray Wyatt (c) vs. Randy Orton

What Should Happen:  Wyatt goes full Max Cady here.  Harper returns- and Sister Abagail (Crazy Mary Dobson) makes her debut as well.  Wyatt wins a wild, wild match- if any match is allowed to get blood, this one should be it

What Will Happen:  Orton wins, turning heel in the process

What I’m Terrified Will Happen:  Orton wins and the announcers try to get him over as a face

The Phenom vs. The Big Dog

The Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

What Should Happen:  Reigns turns heel and wins, telling both the fans and the McMahons to go to hell and making Undertaker go out on a stretcher

What Will Happen:  Reigns wins, there’s a handshake of respect.  The next night, Undertaker announces he’s retiring on RAW

What I’m Terrified Will Happen:  Undertaker wins, then takes the microphone and tells Reigns he’s the toughest man he ever faced in the ring.

Universal Championship Match

Goldberg (c) vs. Brock Lesnar

What Should Happen:  Someone- Reigns, Owens, whoever- comes in and lays both Goldberg and Lesnar out, saying how sick they are of part timers taking their spots.

What Will Happen:  Lesnar wins, Goldberg goes back into semi-retirement, Lesnar and Reign stand face to face as the show fades out

What I’m Terrified Will Happen:  Match is less than three minutes

Other notes:

·         The New Day’s turn as host will involve a lot of jokes and ice cream giveaways- and right at intermission, they get interrupted by Christian, who is ticked off the New Day is being talked about as the greatest tag team of all time.  He points out that he and Edge were a great tag team, and the only reason they didn’t hold the record is because they had competition equal to them…  out come the Hardys to leave the New Day lying in the ring.

·         The big stories from RAW the next night are the major trade between RAW and Smackdown and the Undertaker’s retirement.  Asuka’s debut is held off for Smackdown