Diary of a Mighty Writer...

You can blame Isaac Asimov for this one...

Back in junior high, I went through a phase where I read a ton of Asimov- the Foundation Series, the Robot Trilogy, the Black Widow Books... Asimov wasn't just a fine science fiction writer- he was a great storyteller.  He could write a short story that was interesting, amusing, and thoughtful.

I've started re-reading Asimov, and it spurred the interest to start writing short stories of my own.  And on the internet, you can find a place to showcase anything.

So here is my first sci-fi short story.  Enjoy.  

 

Which Franchise Should win First- NHL

I'm not a hockey fan, but wanted to leave this in to be a completionist.

Which Franchise Should win First- NBA

It's still amazing that literally HALF of the NBA Titles have been won by two franchises (Celtics and Lakers). The history of the NBA has been centered around those two franchises, with one period of domination by Michael Jordan. In 2013, there is a good chance that neither the Celtics nor Lakers will make the playoffs- which just seems so out of play. We're used to seeing one or the other team always dominate.

Which Franchise should win first- NFL

Only four franchises (Texans, Browns, Lions, Jaguars) have not made the Super Bowl. And if you included the AFL or pre-Super Bowl NFL, many of these franchises would be off the list. But modern fans only start counting from the Super Bowl.

Which franchise should win first- MLB

In baseball, all of the franchises since 1901 have won at least one championship. The oldest franchises that have been shut out started in 1962 (The Astros and Rangers).

A special shout to the Florida Marlins, who have already won two titles in a very short lifespan. And by "shout out", I mean "Go to hell". I'm still bitter about 1997, thank you very much.

The teams that haven't won...

Another Super Bowl... and between two teams that I don't have any feelings for. I don't hate the 49ers or the Ravens, nor do I particularly care for them, either.

When in doubt, my default position is to root for the team that has never won the title before. That didn't apply in this case- both the 49ers and Ravens have won the title game, and in the recent past (my definition of "in the recent past"= "I remember when it happened"). So again- no rooting preference.

But my question today- turn that around. Of all of the teams that have not a championship, who do you want to see win the championship next?

This isn't the same question as "who is your favorite team?" In baseball, I grew up a Cubs and Indians fan. Both franchises have won the championships before (before I was born, but that's besides the point). Of the franchises that have never won the title, which one would you prefer to see break their streak and be crowned champions?

Any criteria is acceptable- I'm more curious to see who people are rooting for.

NBA... on the move!

The story is that the Sacramento Kings are being sold to an owner who plans on moving them to Seattle.  It's a familiar story- a loyal fanbase being stabbed in the back by greedy and/or stupid owners who get bailed out by moving the team to a new city, just waiting to give them a brand-spanking new stadium and all of the money in the world.

(Side note:  I'm a full-fledged capitalist.  However, I make an exception for sports for three reasons:

1- Sports, unlike life, really is a zero-sum game.  For San Francisco to succeed, Atlanta must lose.  If that's the case, better to make things as equal as possible.

2- Sports teams have no problem blackmailing cities- and therefore, taxpayers- to finance their stadiums.  Therefore, they've lost the credibility to be only a business.

3- Having lost the Browns and experiencing this firsthand, I'm more than a little bitter)

So I think it's time to strike back.

My suggestion, which I offer free to the city of Sacramento for no charge, is to make the following announcement:

"Hi.  Because of the recent sale, the Sacramento Kings are going to be moved to Seattle.  This will replace the team the city of Seattle lost when they were sold to Oklahoma.  In both cases, fanbases were lied to and betrayed, and the NBA abetted and allowed this move.

Now, we could insist that the NBA cancel this move- but they claim they can't.  Or we could try to change from being the victim to the attacker and take someone else's city.  But that unfair to the other city.

So we're going to give the NBA two choices.  Option number 1- a new expansion team, right here in Sacramento.  Heck- we'll be so glad that the owners aren't the Maloofs that we'll take a brand-new franchise.

If you don't like that, we'll go to option number 2.  Now, we won't steal another city's NBA franchise.  That's because the Los Angeles Lakers will voluntarily come to us.

They'll come, because if they don't, the state of California- did we mention that Sacramento is the capital of California?- will pass a 10,000% tax on all NBA purchases involving California teams.  Those Lakers tickets really will be made of gold, for as much as they'll cost.  They can either move here on their own, or start charging seven-digit ticket prices.  

Oh- and that tax increase also applies for all NBA contracts.  There might be some legal issues, but since we don't have basketball here in Sacramento, we have plenty of time to go through the court system.

Now, some people might say that it's unfair to take the Lakers.  But Los Angeles already has two teams, so they aren't losing the NBA.  Besides, we're still pissed about the 2002 playoffs.

So, the choice is yours, David Stern.  Give us a new franchise, give us the Lakers, or give us a massive check."

And, Sacramento... you're welcome.